Always Taken For Granted..

(WORK OF FICTION.  Any event, person, object, or place that may seem true to life is purely coincidental)

When you loved someone, you always will. Even if you think the fire is out, it never is. The intensity may change but the embers will never fade.

I knew her since the 6^th grade

I really didn’t notice her, and she didn’t really notice me

I was only fascinated by her when we entered high school

We were both in the same class

We were both in our school’s special class

Considered the “cream of the crop”

More like “cream of crap”

If you dropped below a certain grade you get kicked out of the class next year

Year 1

I was a fat, taller than average, pushover kid from a middle class family

Although middle class meant that you were average

It was exaggerated in our school

It almost meant that you could afford everything that you set your eyes to

And almost everybody knowing that I was an only child didn’t really help

But even if everybody thought I was spoiled

I always begged to differ

I didn’t want to be spoiled

I knew that if I wanted something

I always had to give something in return

That was also the case with her

She wasn’t really pretty

But I didn’t really care about appearance

And I still don’t

I was attracted with her personality

She was slim, almost skinny

Considering we were still young

Her body hasn’t really developed much yet

But I knew that in the future a lot of guys would be chasing after her

Why?

Well three guys already tried to court her that year

I was one of them

I was naïve

Stupid

Immature

Rash

Of the three of us

I was the least likely

That she would choose

But she never really did choose any of us

She wasn’t the first girl that I texted

I love you

But

She was the first that I thought that I did

I was so crazy over her

I wrote her a poem to describe my feelings for her

Sadly that’s still one of the most embarrassing moments of my life

One of my friends shouted at our teacher

“cher! May tula po’ng sinulat si …”

Our teacher read it out loud in class

She said it was sweet if someone addressed a poem like that to her

But it wasn’t addressed to her

She couldn’t even look at me after that

I even saw her lower her head in embarrassment

I even heard one of her friends shout

“She’s crying!”

After that it took some time for her to forgive me

We never talked

Texted

Chatted

She ignored me

Until…

Year 2

When you’re young you tend to make up with people faster

You forgive easy

You forget

Because it doesn’t really matter anything to you yet

After summer vacation we made up

Sort of

It was like nothing ever happened

But she changed

People do

She became socially awkward

We texted each other

Even we were right in front of each other

It was the trend at the time

Or at least

Our trend at the time.

I gave her a gift for valentines that year

Sadly, it wasn’t up to par

She was still developing

Budding

Growing

Gestating

Burgeoning

At this time

I wasn’t the only one who was starting to take notice

But it still wasn’t enough

She was still

Unripe…

Year 3

The year started pretty normal

But at this time

The changes on everybody’s appearance was noticeable

People started to get taller

Voices deepened

Bodies curved, contoured and chiseled

Pimples rampant

Hormones enraged

Puberty

She was no exception to these changes

She grew charming each day

I on the other hand remained almost the same

Except for the acne and change in height.

Our class started to feel the pressure of being the “star” class

We were starting to live up expectations

Thus, we became more active toward co-curricular activities and organizations

The priority being our school’s Civilian Army Training (C.A.T.)

They taught us discipline

Focus

Initiative

I thought we were all pre occupied with our activities and studies

That no one would really take much interest in courting her.

Then it started

Not immediately

But inevitably

They started to show interest in her

But at this time

I didn’t really care anymore

I was merely observant

But I knew in myself that there was still unfinished business between us.

She had entered into a relationship with one of our classmates

She suddenly decided to enter a relationship without even showing signs of submission

It startled us all

It was not like her

It was not her.

Only now do I understand

She was young

Immature

Blind.

At our C.A.T. Christmas party

Our superiors and our equals planned something

They planned to make us confront our issues with one another

I was a total jerk to her

But I didn’t know this until

 Our class had our own Christmas party afterwards

Some of my classmates confronted me and said I was an asshole

I didn’t know

So I apologized

To everybody.

She broke up with her boyfriend two weeks into their relationship.

Year 4

Senior year

The greatest year of our high school lives

The year we became officers

The year we ruled the campus

Not as bullies (okay, some of us bullied others a bit)

But as leaders

Being in our section means that we control the school

One way or the other

Our influence was great.

She was a ranked officer in our organization (C.A.T.)

I was a deputy

She grew pretty over the summer vacation

But I realized that she wasn’t really for me

I was to mature

She was childish

But I knew that was only a cover

But I was to occupied thinking about college and stuff

I didn’t mind who she wound up with

But I still cared

I realized that I was unconsciously taking care of her

She got into a relationship with a high ranking officer

Which was a good friend of mine

I looked after their relationship for some time

Year 5

They were on the rocks for the nth time

I tried to help them

But it wasn’t enough

I barely talked to her

We didn’t really have the chance

And we’re both awkward with one another

Year 6

Months passed

I decided to try and text her

Just to pass the time

Hoping I could get in touch with her

She replied

We texted for over an hour

Then

I don’t know how

Or why

But we ended up talking about why I could never be her boyfriend

“You’re just too arrogant, for me”

“Maybe other people don’t see it”

“Or it’s just me”

“But that’s it”

I asked her

“Are we close?”

She said

“Yes”

“Based on the number of years we’ve been friends”

“I’d say we’re pretty close”

I texted

“Okay, thanks :)”

“I heard you have a new boyfriend?”

“How are you guys?”

She replied

“We went exclusive yesterday”